What if "Leave the Mess" is Your Worst Nightmare?
I hired organizers and it is worth every penny. Plus some other things I loved this week.
It’s something we hear often postpartum- “just leave the mess!” “Ignore the dishes!” I’ve probably even doled out this advice myself. It feels like the easiest thing to say to a new mother who’s been thrust into the hazy chaos of the newborn period- completely and utterly shocked at how difficult it is to keep a tidy house (or do anything, really) while caring for such a tiny being.
I’ve often seen the sentiment given to these overwhelmed new mothers- “the mess can wait, your baby is only a baby for so long!” We say this because it’s mostly true. Sometimes ignoring the list of chores because a contact nap feels so lovely is exactly what you should do.
And sometimes we HAVE to leave the mess, ignore the dishes piling in the sink, let the laundry go one more day. We have to because our new little person is much higher on the priority list, and they simply will not allow us to tackle the chores, our to do list, or even get to basic self care.
But what about when “leaving the mess” is enough to send you into orbit? What if the sight of your home in total disarray only fuels your anxiety? What if the mess is starting constant fights, and causing resentment to build between you and your partner?
This is how it’s felt for me since having kids, especially since my third has become more mobile. She is now fully in the mix with my older two playing with toys and destroying the house. I think I’m also probably at my wit’s end because I work from home and my kids have been here all summer. Our home has turned into an actual disaster and we are busting at the seams with stuff, even though I try and be so careful about acquiring unnecessary kid things.
So I called in reinforcements! I hired a professional organizing team and I’m so excited to be starting the process. They’re coming again this week for round two and I’ll be sure to share more about this once it’s complete.
Our homes are our environments and have the biggest impact on how we feel. Clutter and disorganization and mess truly make us feel more anxious! But what do you do when you just CAN’T get to it yourself (and outsourcing isn’t an option)?
This is where splitting the load, if you’re partnered, is absolutely essential. Really honest conversations need to be had about everyone doing their part to make sure the home runs smoothly and looks presentable. This takes WORKKKKK even when you have a fully on-board partner. Trust.
I shared a little “day in the life” in my IG stories this week and even though my husband does *way more* than his fair share of the chores, it has still taken us a lot of time to figure it out. We do a lot of dividing and conquering/ switching with the kids which helps the other person find time for self care, alone time, and even getting the home stuff done.
This episode of NOTU can give you some ideas for this as well and in this post I give some other tips and resources. 👇🏼
If you’re feeling constantly overstimulated by mess, noise, or otherwise- listen to this episode about sensory overwhelm. It’s SO incredibly helpful.
This week my oldest went back to school! We love using visual time timers to get back into the routine because my kids can see exactly how much time is left before we have to leave, and it really helps them manage it themselves instead of me giving them a million reminders.
I wore this active onesie this week and even thought it’s a nightmare when you have to pee, it looks so cute with a sweatshirt or denim jacket! It’s on major sale too.
Lots of you asked for a link to these mesh zipper bags- we LOVE using these to store lego sets, puzzle or board game pieces etc. They take up so much less space than boxes! Great for organizing travel stuff too.
Another popular link request this week was my new rainbow necklace! I have a necklace addiction and I need to be stopped. Please yell at me if there’s another one in next week’s roundup!
Not sure if I’ll love it YET but I am starting this audio book this week. Stay tuned next week for a full post in the Book Club about what we’re reading in Sept (including kids book recs!).
I am turning 36 soon and have never had Botox. I’m not opposed to it, but want to try some natural stuff first. I saw these reusable brow masks on Tiktok shop and OMG they made my 11’s almost disappear after just one night. Excited to keep using!
I took myself on a solo movie date after my live workshop on Friday and it was SO NICE. I do this maybe 2 or 3 times per year and honestly need to work it in more. It’s so much fun to just go eat whatever I want, sit in a dark room, and tune out. I saw It Ends With Us which was just okay. I didn’t have high expectations since the book was god awful (this might be an unpopular opinion but Colleen Hoover cannot write). There has been so much bad press around the way the movie promo has been going and I can totally see why. It’s been such a missed opportunity to showcase DV and raise awareness in a meaningful way. That said, I was entertained and that’s the point of going to the movies, right?
This week for dinner one night I made this Broccoli Chicken Pie and it was sooooo good. You can get a free trial of Caroline’s Substack to grab the recipe and I am ordering the brand new cook book ASAP! There’s just something about an actual cook book, ya know?
If you follow me on Instagram be sure to tune into stories and turn on notifications for posts this week. I’ll be talking all about BEDTIMES! So definitely spread the word to fellow #toddlermoms because there’s gonna be lots of good stuff I’m sharing to make bedtime easier, quicker, and more enjoyable for all. 😴💗
See you soon!
xo Rachael
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